photo credit: Puzzling: What to do with a bunch of broken ornaments? via photopin (license)

You’ve likely noticed that the Holiday Season is upon us.
For many, it’s a happy time.
But what if you’re not happy?

I’ve felt shades of “blue” Christmases in the past, so I feel for you if you’re in that boat. When it happens, sadness during the holidays is one of the worst feelings to deal with. Here are four thoughts that hopefully provide you some measure of encouragement:

1. Know you’re not alone. Depression tends to spike in the weeks leading up to Christmas Day, so unhappiness is not uncommon in the season. I’d hazard a guess too, that if you open up to someone around you about holiday unhappiness, they might very well respond with something like “me too” or “I’ve been there.”
2. Understand that there’s a lot to live up to. For many, the pressure of tasks to be done for this season is immense. Lots of people have this compounded by natural year-end business pressures or the stress of added workloads while covering for vacationing coworkers. On top of this, the bombardment of happy advertising can make you feel insufficient if you’re not achieving that advertised level of visible contentment.
3. You might have ghosts in your Christmases past. Whether you think of it consciously or not, you have Holiday memories, and they might not all be good ones. Again, if that’s your boat, you’re not alone in it. In fact, a google search for Blue Christmas will likely show you (after you wade through all the Elvis links) that others feel the same way you do.
4. You might have ghosts in your Christmases present and future. Again, it might be conscious or just under the surface of your awareness, but your present situation in family, business, or among friends  might be at some kind of critical turning point. These shadows can linger in your mind and heart, making it difficult to fully engage in the celebratory element of the holidays.

Whatever the reason, we at New Solution Mediation are aware that the holidays aren’t happy for everyone. Our separation/divorce work is moving along steadily, so you can read between the lines that some are having a very specifically unhappy time this holiday season.

One commonly prescribed tip to address these feelings is simply to reach out: we sometimes don’t feel like putting ourselves out there, but it can be the exact remedy to the disconnection and isolation that can often be the cause of such feelings.

If your sadness this holiday season relates to separation or divorce (in your past, present or future), we understand and it’s why we exist. Feel free to reach out to us online or give us a call.

We believe in mediation and conflict resolution as tools, tools we have some grounding in using.
If this article just happens to get you onto your horse of resolution, and gets you talking with your spouse or a trusted confidante, and not us, that’s okay too. We love to see conflict resolution. Even if we’re not the resolvers 😉

As part of the New Solution Mediation team, I’m proud to contribute to relationship resolution, producing solutions that provide all parties with some measure of happiness.

About the writer: In addition to being a content writer as Principal of ThatGuyWriting Brand Consultancy, Lam Tang supports New Solution Mediation in tech and admin.

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