Sacrifice Indignation – Part 2
If you are coaching or advising someone struggling with the feelings and thoughts described above, there are some things you can do. There is a path of conversation that will help the person verbalize and identify what they are feeling, determine the needs of their family and know how committed they are to their current job/position at that moment in time. All these things are helpful in reducing their stress and negative feelings as well as helping them think about what their next steps are. Having said that, it is important to remember the feelings associated with sacrifice indignation come and go regularly. This “check in” will determine where the person is at then, but it is not a good time to make major decisions, especially about resigning.
1. Express thoughts and feelings.
There is a lot of pent up negativity in the person, and they need the freedom to express it in a safe environment with someone they can trust. Verbalizing it works like a relief valve to relieve some of the pressure temporarily. At this time you will find out more about how serious their feelings of indignation are. They might be minor and fleeting, or they might be substantial.
2. Explore the family’s thoughts and feelings.
Ask about how their family is doing with this. It is important to know if the person’s family is feeling the same way, and to what degree. Sometimes the person keeps the job conflict away from the family, but often the family experiences a lot of negativity too. The severity of it and their needs will play an important role in how and if the person can move forward with the same job or not.
3. Determine commitment.
Find out where they are on the spectrum of commitment to the position moving forward. Do they still envision themselves in that job in the future? Are they considering a change? Have they explored or contacted other places of employment or training?
4. Rediscover their passion.
If they intend to remain in the job even for a limited amount of time, it is helpful and important to guide them into remembering why they took the position in the first place. What was it that they were passionate about? What does the organization stand for that they also believe in? Getting back in touch with the passion they started with can be helpful in restoring the passion and perspective they need to carry on, either for the long term, or so they can “finish well” in the short time they have left.
If you are mediating a conversation between two or more people who are all experiencing some level of sacrifice indignation, it is helpful to also address it in the group session.
1. Educate and normalize.
Guilt and shame can be byproducts of these negative feelings. Telling people that it is normal and common to feel this during times of conflict in a non-profit will help to normalize and reduce the effect of it.
2. Rediscover and share their passion.
Ask each person to talk about why they started working for the organization in the first place, what values they resonate with the most, what makes them passionate about the mission, etc. As they speak about this, common ground and unity is fostered. The more they can feel like they are on the same team and not against each other, the more productive the mediated conversation between them will be.