As a Mediator, I work with people in high stress conflicts. Conflict affects all of us, causing some people to get “stuck” or interact with others in unhealthy ways. One of the major causes of stress and conflict is change. Whether change is easy and exciting, or negative and difficult, it can cause conflict and stress. The reason is that when we experience change we [...]

As we approach the Christmas season, we are reminded of what we are thankful for. I am grateful for so many things, especially my family. My wife and I love this time of year, and every Christmas is more amazing as our kids grow! However, I realize that for many, Christmas is not a good time. For those who have lost family members, suffered hardship [...]

About 20 years ago my friend Mike told me music from the 70’s was superior to music from the 80’s. I thought he was crazy. Sure there was outstanding music in the 70’s, but 80’s music was awesome! Today, I was listening to one of the great songs the 70’s by Dave Mason called “We Just Disagree”. It is about a relationship that has changed [...]

If you are coaching or advising someone struggling with the feelings and thoughts described above, there are some things you can do. There is a path of conversation that will help the person verbalize and identify what they are feeling, determine the needs of their family and know how committed they are to their current job/position at that moment in time. All these things are [...]

Virtually every worker in a non-profit organization has experienced this. And if someone is managing conflict in a non-profit, they had better be aware of it. The result of being unaware is usually a deadly loss of morale and too often one or more resignation letters. Here is how it works: people who work in non-profits are good people who are serving others, meeting needs, [...]

One of the great causes of negative conflict is assumption. That is, WRONG assumptions. We are shaped by our surroundings. Our families, friends, school experiences, cultural upbringing, etc. all play a part in making us who we are. These things help to determine our values, perspectives, how we act and react and what we dream about. So when we see others act, speak and make [...]

In the early 90’s my mother had a cool, red convertible car that she loved. We all enjoyed driving it or riding in it -wind blowing through our hair. That is, until it stopped working. What I mean is, there was something wrong with the motor that made the engine stall after driving it for a while! When that happened, the only solution was to [...]

I am interested in conflict and what we can learn from it. I was watching Celebrity Apprentice when another conflict arose, this time between Gary Busey and Meatloaf –maybe you saw it too. (You can find it on YouTube, but it is a little rough, so you may not want to watch it with your kids.) It was a fairly dramatic conflict with high emotion [...]

I mediated recently for a couple that had separated a few years ago. They had worked hard to make agreements that worked for them and for their kids. However, their agreements needed to be updated because of changing situations for them and the kids. (This is very common – the family evolves and so do their needs. Thankfully, mediated agreements are easily changed to evolve [...]